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Dec 28 / Laurie Northrup

When your phone rings at 3:30 AM, the news is never good

I’m visiting my parents for the holidays. It’s 3:30 AM. The phone rings. The answering machine gets it before any of us pick up/get to a phone. Caller ID is blocked.

When your phone rings at 3:30 AM, it’s never good. It’s horrible, life-changing news, it’s a wrong number, or your idiot night owl daughter sat on her Blackberry and pocket-dialed you (ahem).

The answering machine picks up, and sleepy and confused, we listen. It’s a woman who sounds like she’s in her twenties, drunk and slurring her words:

“Hey, it’s me. I just found out I’m pregnant. So when you get this, call me back.”

On the off-chance that you placed this phone call, please don’t be mad at the intended recipient when he (I’ll just go ahead and assume it’s a “he”) doesn’t call you back. I really would have called you back to let you know if I had any idea who you are.

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